I wish I could include every detail and emotion that lead up to the day we met our son. I wish I could put into words the love and gratitude that I feel each and every time I look at him, hold his sweet little hand or smell the top of his precious head. We have waited so long for this beautiful baby, and he is so very loved.
Throughout my entire pregnancy I knew that the way I delivered Maxwell was going to be a toss up. Early in the pregnancy I was told that I had a partial placenta previa; a condition where the placenta lies low in the uterus, partly or completely blocking the cervix. The baby (particularly his noggin) had also been measuring on the big side, something that my OB wanted to keep a close eye on. My husband and I went to all our lamaze classes anyway, hoping that my placenta would migrate out of the way in time. Luckily the last of our month long classes also covered c-sections, so we felt like we were educated about both types of births (as educated as people who have never experienced it can be).
Late in the pregnancy we got news that my placenta had in fact migrated and it was safe for me to try for a vaginal birth. I was really happy about having the option- that’s all I ever wanted. I came to terms with the fact that the baby was going to make the decision for us, and put complete trust in my doctor who I adore.
I have to say that my doctor has been one of the most beautiful pieces of this story. This woman has been with me through 2 losses. She’s called me after hours numerous times, held me, cried with me and gone above and beyond to make me feel confident during this pregnancy when I was so, so scared. We have been blessed beyond measure with wonderful medical care, and I’m so grateful.
At my second to last scheduled OB appointment my doctor recommended that if I didn’t have the baby by March 8th, she would like to induce. This was mostly because of his size, but also because I was showing no signs of progression and my cozy baby wasn’t getting into position.
I went home and I walked, walked and walked some more. I bounced on my yoga ball, I drank my Rasberry Leaf Tea…. I tried EVERYTHING to avoid being induced (and everything aint easy when you’re this big…you get my drift?)
On March 4th I noticed I hadn’t felt the baby move in a really long time. I poked him, ate some chocolate (which tasted like heaven after being on the gestational diabetes diet for months) and laid in every position possible. Nothing. My husband and I rushed to labor and delivery for an NST, and after being buzzed with a little vibrating wand, Maxwell danced for a good half hour. He basically made me look completely crazy.
The next day we went to our scheduled OB appointment and told her about what happened the day before. She listened to the heart beat and expressed concern that it was pretty low for our baby. She also checked me for dilation and position and I had made no progress. The reality was even if I was induced, the chances of having a vaginal birth were very slim. She told me to head over for an NST straight from her office and then recommended I get a c-section that evening because she was on call. At around noon I called my parents to tell them they were going to be grandparents by 7. It was shocking, scary and exciting all at once. We were about to meet our baby! We rushed home so I could shower and headed to the NST. My number one concern was making sure all was well with the baby, I knew I could freak out about everything else happening later. Once we knew he was ok, they told us we could leave for 2 hours and come back to be prepped for surgery. It was a complete whirlwind.
I insisted that we go somewhere for Josh to get a big lunch since I knew it was going to be a long day for him, and then we found a quiet bench outside the hospital. We sat there in silence for a long time with an occasional, “Is this really about to happen?” comment to each other. I held my husband’s hand tight- I was so scared and so excited. Almost exactly one year prior to this day, my mom and husband sat on that same bench waiting for me to get my D&C after a devastating loss. It was hard not to get overcome with emotion thinking about the journey we had been on for the last year, and like any parents-to-be, we were just praying with all our might that our baby would be healthy and all would go well.
We went back up and checked in, and the rest seemed to happen so fast. My parents showed up, my doctor arrived and I was prepped for the O.R. I kissed my husband goodbye for a little while, and he got in his scrubs to meet me in the operating room.
The anesthesiologist started working on giving me my spinal, and she struggled for what felt like 15 minutes. I can only describe that time with my doctor and the nurse in the O.R. as one of the deepest experiences I’ve ever had between women. I know that might sound crazy, but it’s true. My doctor held me in her arms as the nurse rubbed my shoulders. I was overwhelmed and started to cry. My doctor asked if they were happy tears or scared tears, and I explained that they were a little of both. I felt so scared, but so supported. After the spinal was done and I was laying back and ready to go, I saw my husband walk into the room. I realized how much I needed him, how much both Max and I needed him. I love my husband to the moon and back- but somehow in that moment the love grew even deeper. I told him how much I loved him, and we held hands, anxious to meet the beautiful life that we created together.
I laid on the table shaking and crying (seriously, it was SO COLD), and finally the moment came. I heard my doctor describing every detail of my little boy as he made his entrance little by little. Then the most beautiful sound in the world, Maxwell crying to let us know he had arrived.
Seeing my husband walk over with our son in his arms is something I’ll never forget. My heart was complete, our family was whole. Nothing else in the world mattered.
Our sweet little miracle weighed 7 lbs 14 oz and was 21 inches long. The moment he was put into my arms was the greatest moment of my life. He is handsome, healthy and loved beyond measure. I can’t wait to share my journey with all of you. Thank you so much for all the love and support you have showed me and my little family.