It’s been a long time since I’ve posted an update. I decided to spend the last couple months of my pregnancy being kind to myself in terms of work pressure, and savoring precious one on one time with Max- what a wonderful decision that was.
Our daughter entered the world exactly 8 days ago, and my, how life has changed. I feel a sense of completion, of intense gratitude and so much learning and growth has taken place in our household. There have definitely been challenges, and heartache, but overall it’s been a dream.
Everyone asks me about the same things, so I’ll just go down the list:
How’s Max adjusting?
When I mentioned heartache earlier, this is the reason why. Overall, Max has been wonderful- I mean, he’s just the kindest, smartest child- but there have also been challenges. I’ve been home with him every day for 19 months of his life. Every day I’ve made it a point to take him on a special adventure, and I’m also the one who does his morning, bath and bedtime routines (because my husband’s work schedule usually doesn’t permit). If he calls out in the middle of the night, I’m the one who shows up. We’ve been inseparable.
I had to have my little girl via c-section, so for the next 6 weeks I will be unable to lift Max. Which means a lot of change for my sweet little guy. There have definitely been many moments of anger, frustration and just plain sadness- but my husband has done an incredible job of giving him the extra love he needs and deserves while so many changes are taking place. I make sure he gets special one on one mommy time every day, and can’t wait until I have no restrictions again. Not being able to hold your child is torture. I won’t get into the long list of ugly cries I’ve had, but he’s really been a trooper. Still a little unsure about this little baby creature…but becoming more curious every day.
I offer him the opportunity to help me with all the baby duties (handing me a diaper, choosing an outfit etc), but don’t push her on him either. Usually the answer is “no”, but I know there will come a day where she’s a lot more interesting to him….probably when she can throw a ball.
Other than that (yes, there’s more!), the baby came on the heels of a huge sleep regression, which came on the heels of Max learning to crawl out of his crib. So we’re all just giving each other a whole bunch of grace, love and patience, and constantly reminding one another this is all temporary. We celebrate his good naps and nights without wake ups and support each other through the rough ones.
How’s married life?
My husband has been off the last week, and will continue to be home for about 2 more- so it’s been really great for us as a family. Because of my physical restrictions, he’s taken on a huge amount of responsibility which I really appreciate. It’s also been good for him to develop an understanding of what my world is like on a daily basis, and for me to realize what a huge asset he is when I allow him to help. I’ve learned that I don’t need to try and control everything anymore (and can’t really), because I have a capable and loving partner. Having a second baby has meant asking for more help, which has given us a great deal of respect for each other. We’ve had a couple moments of wanting to throat punch each other….but the high fives have out numbered them. I am so proud of the father my husband is, and am so lucky to have him. Romantically speaking, we’re in the “covered in spit up and asleep by 8pm” phase- but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
How is the baby eating and sleeping?
Sammy has been a dream. With Max, my milk didn’t come in for over a week, so I never experienced such a happy, sleepy newborn. She’s been with us on more outings in her one week of life, than I took Max on for his first two months- and has slept through them all! We are more relaxed, and in turn we have a really chill baby. She latched from the second I put her to my breast, which I think is equal parts her being awesome and me being experienced- so that has also been a huge relief. She’s a little angel and we just adore her.
As far as nighttime sleep: Well, we have a newborn and a wild monkey who shows up at our door, so…coffee.
How is it going from 1 kiddo to 2?
I think this is something that I’ll have to answer when Josh goes back to work. Right now we have an equal parent to child ratio and no work stress, so we’re handling it pretty darn well- but I know another huge adjustment will come when we go back to “real life”. The biggest change has been the amount of time it takes us to get out the door…and that’s with Josh and I un-showered and in homeless apparel- so my head spins when I think of doing it all alone- but we’ll make it work!
I’m going to continue to be easy on myself when it comes to the consistency of my posts for another couple of weeks, as time with my children and husband is so precious to me- but I look forward to sharing this exciting new journey with all of you.
We’re having pictures of Sammy’s nursery taken on Monday, so stay tuned for the reveal.